I'm 25 and I still have my childhood teddy.

I'm sure most of us had some sort of comfort object when we were children, be it a blanket or a stuffed animal. This is considered to be completely normal, we understand that a child uses this object as a form of familiarity or security. It's something that is theirs and it makes them feel safe. So why is it so embarrassing for adults to own them for the same reasons?

I have had my teddy since I was about 9. I vaguely remember going into the Disney store with my mum and sister and picking out an Eeyore plushie as a reward for doing well in a show I was in and from that moment on it slept in my bed with me. Eeyore has been a major source of comfort for me over the years, he was there when I found out my mum was pregnant with my little sister, he was there when I found out we were moving to South Africa, he came with me to boarding school, helped me through fights with boyfriends, breakups with boyfriends and helped me deal with all sorts of bad news. He even moved out with me when I started university, through the biggest transition of my life. In fact, the first time I ever left him was when I became a stewardess at 23.

The only reason why I left him in South Africa with all my other belongings was simply because I was embarrassed. What kind of 23 year old still has the stuffed animal she had when she was 9? How could I be taken seriously when I would be sharing a cabin with a stranger who would surely rank higher than me? And so I packed him in a box with all of my other belongings and reluctantly bid him farewell.

From the research I've done, it is perfectly normal for an adult to revert back to self-soothing tactics they used when they were younger. It has been proven to calm anxiety and relieve stress. However, your comfort object should not stand in the way of real human relationships as there is no replacement for human interaction (no matter how introverted you are) and you should not become so reliant upon it to the point where you cannot live without it. But from as far as I can tell there is absolutely no harm in seeking comfort in the thing that is most familiar to you.

There was a turning point for me when I started to think differently about adult comfort objects when we were asked to do a project for a class in University. The task was to take objects around your bedroom that accurately show your personality and then describe why. Most people showed the usual things one would expect; photos, ornaments, letters from friends. But one girl quite blatantly said "this is my childhood teddy and I cannot sleep without him". I mean, my mind was blown. All these years I was the only person I knew that still slept with a teddy. Both my younger sisters had outgrown theirs years before me and none of the girls at boarding school cared as much about their teddies as I did for mine. This started a conversation in our class about how a lot of women like to sleep while cuddling something, be it a person or an object. And there is some science behind this, cuddling releases a hormone called oxytocin which can make you feel more relaxed and at ease. Although I didn't admit to the class that I also had a childhood teddy, this conversation did make me feel a lot less alone.

Fast forward to last year when I got talking to one of the stewardesses on board about this topic and she quite openly admitted to me that she also has a teddy she likes to sleep with as it gives her a lot of comfort. After our talk I got very nostalgic and started craving the touch of my teddy. It's such a strange thing to try an describe, but 'crave' I guess is the closest word I can get to. As a lot of you know already, I do share a cabin with my boyfriend and while he does provide me with a lot of comfort, there is just something about the feel of my teddy that a human being can't provide me. It's a sort of sensory comfort and I guess the best comparison I can give is, it gives me the same kind of anxiety relief as one of those fidget spinners or anxiety jewelry you can buy on etsy. Even just touching him helps me relieve stress, anxiety and helps me relax which essentially helps me sleep better.

After realising that my teddy actually helps me with my mental health I started becoming less embarrassed about it. This year is the first time I've brought Eeyore with me to the boat, and I have honestly noticed a difference in my anxiety levels. I think because he has been with me throughout so many transition periods in my life and now being in a cabin with decor that's not exactly welcoming, he is something very familiar and personal that makes this tiny cabin feel a little bit more like home.

This post has been very difficult for me to write as it has been one of my best kept secrets, but after sharing my experiences with other women who I trust I felt like this would be the perfect place to open up. I know there is a social stigma around having a comfort object but I am here to tell you that it's okay. In fact it's normal, and if it works for you then it works and that's all there is to it. We all have our coping mechanisms and if this is yours then own it.